Friday Claps ? & Recap ⏮️
August, Friday the 13th, 2021
On Friday the 13th my HEART and SOUL EXPANDED. ?
My trust in the masculine expanded, ?
my trust in humanity expanded, ?
my trust in the power of collective intention expanded,?
and the ability to manifest a win-win-win-win for all involved expanded. ?
The power of the Feminine’s ability to be flexible, adaptable, open & receptive was revealed to me. ?
Teamwork, Risk Taking, Humanity and Divine Will
These have been some of the themes that have been present in my life over this past month. “TEAMWORK” in particular was my 2020 word. It seems to take me 1-2 years to actually complete the cycle. I just barely experienced “FREEDOM 2019” this July. What I am sure about is whenever i set the intention and begin the cycle it always manifests and comes to completion. I love that. It builds my TRUST in the universe.
Back to Teamwork. It is a big part of what I would like to experience in my relationships (Business and Personal). It is something I am always desiring and investigating–I have 44.1 in my Conscious Pluto. We have been diving into our Ascendant and Midheaven in BBD and I am so grateful for this deep dive into our Brand Compass and Rising. The 38.6 (visionary warrior) and the 28.2 (Daredevil) have been speaking to me alot. I strongly believe that whatever you focus on, expands. This is TRUE in my world. So, of course, I have been seeing how these two aspects of ME (ASC & MC) are mirrored back in relationships.
I started investigating 28.2 during our BBD deep dive and found that in Human Design it was called “Shaking Hands with the Devil” and it has to do with forming “risky” alliances to “win the game”
“Jupiter exalted, The anxiety engendered by sacrificing higher principles when there is no guarantee of success. In the white book, When the game turns to a struggle, the intuitive acceptance of any alliance in order to win. The other side, The risk in sacrificing principles when there is no guarantee of victory.
This is the whole nature of struggle. It is all about winning and losing. There are people that are either very good winners or very bad losers, or the other way around. All of that can lead them to be very uncomfortable with themselves. Remember, the deep fear which lies underneath. This fear of whether life is really of value or not. These people will risk anything to get what they think is the projected victory. Realize the illusion of that. They are projecting, “If I win this, life will be great.” Then you discover that you have sold your soul to the devil.” Ra Uru Hu, The Line Companion
When I read this I was really taken aback and a bit resistant to this. I would not do something dirty, distasteful or immoral to “win.” However, I can see how this may have to do with PARTNERSHIPS and ALLIANCES more than I was focusing on the action of “shaking hands with the devil.” When I have a “victory” or expectation I am attached to, I will do whatever I can to control things to reach that outcome. The more attached, the more I want to control it. It helps me to have people who are aligned with what my goal or outcome is. I’ll also convince others to come over to “my side.” I think this is how it can be expressed in me at a low frequency.
The personal problem I have encountered with Ra Uru Hu’s descriptions of the gates is that they sometimes are really negative and the “exalted” expression is still not very favorable. What I love about Richard Rudd’s approach is his frequency bands (Shadow – Gift – Siddhi).
The 28th Gene Key
Purposelessness – Totality – Immortality
28.2 — finding purpose in relationships. The immortal union.
And at an internal level –
the purpose (28) of my inner masculine and feminine individually and as a team (44.1). Investigating (line 1) the teamwork (44) of my inner masculine and feminine (line 2 – partnership). Being empowered (line 1) in my masculine and feminine union. Going into battle for the union of my masculine and feminine. Fighting for the honor of my masculine and feminine. Using inner teamwork (44.1) and risk taking (28.2) to achieve the victory of Sacred Union. So all of this for the glory of love. ?
You see how this is developing as I expand on it?
Partnerships and relationships have never been “easy” for me. I have trust issues and tend to be quite the control freak. I try to create a safe container and foundation and then cling to it at times. I also take on a lot of the responsibility and then complain about me doing it all. Then not wanting to give up some of the responsibility for fear of the other person not doing it the way I want them to (in my perfectionist way).
What I AM learning is that communication of expectations is all I really need to do to hand over the workload and even hand over the reigns.
Okay now, back to Friday the 13th.
I had 11-13 people at my house for the past 10 days. I can feel the introverts cringing as they read that. I definitely welcome the peace and quiet today as all of my house guest have left early morning today. But i am so grateful for the time we shared together.
Friday we had plans to go inner tubing on the lake nearby. It took us the whole morning to prepare and pack. We got the whole brood in the cars and headed up with boat in tow. When we got to the lake we were met with a sign that said “Closed every 2nd Tuesday of the month.” It was the 2nd Tuesday of the month.
We were all disappointed and I was upset no one thought to look up if the lake was even open. We have just driven 20ish minutes to this lake and everyone still had the desire to get on and in the water. We looked up another lake nearby that would be a possibility. It was open. We drove the 27 minutes to get there to find out …. It was a NO CONTACT lake–which means you cannot go in the water and we could not tow our tube. FAIL again. We were all losing hope.
At that point, we decided to sit at some picnic tables and eat our packed lunches. We chose to try the ocean as our last effort to get on the water. I had reservations because our boat rarely touches salt water (salt water is a commitment when you own a boat because it requires lots of cleaning and flushing to make sure your boat doesn’t break down over time). My husband, Justin, could sense my disappointment and resistance to taking a risk on this 3rd option. However, I decided to take a risk and let him take the lead. I expressed my expectations and told everyone if we committed to this new plan it would mean teamwork when we got home. Everyone would need to help wash and wax and clean the boat–inside and out. They all agreed.
I felt a little anxious on the ride to Mission Bay boat launch because of our 2 time disappointment. Everyone in the car was falling asleep at this point–exhausted from the highs and lows.
When we arrived, the setting was so welcoming and I felt excitement rise in me again. We got the boat on the water and began to load everyone in.
Side Note: as Justin was pulling the boat next to the dock he soaked the boat behind us with his jets… THREE TIMES. He had no idea our jets were pushing water up and out and onto the couple in the boat behind us. THEY WERE PISSED. It was an unexpected shock for them. What dismantled their anger was when Justin walked up to them and apologized. They weren’t expecting that. I would say the theme of the day was very much THE UNEXPECTED.
When we got on the water my youngest child, Aurora (2 Years old) started crying. This was no ordinary cry. This was a cry of TERROR. The last time we were on the lake she had a similar episode. This was the same day the rope of our tube got sucked into the jet cavity of the boat. We joked that she knew it was going to be a disappointing day on the lake.
This time we knew her terror was because she was on a bumpy boat in the middle of water. Something about that shook her to her core. She also has the 51st gene key in her radiance sphere. The gate of shock. She is also a Reflector. Surprise and Disappointment is her strategy. My husband and I are problem solvers. He is a 5/1 like me and his suggestion was to beach the boat on a peninsula ahead and let Aurora play on the beach while the rest of the adults and kids played on the inner tube.
Again my resistance reared its ugly head. I was so tired of plans changing and a part of me just wanted my expectations to be met and to not be disappointed yet again. I wanted to be on the boat, stay on the boat, and watch my nephews and kids ride in the tube. I did not want to get sandy and sit in the sun watching them have fun on the boat while I chased Aurora around the beach.
But again, I say YES in spite of my inner resistance. And you know what, it was an amazing time. This is when the day turned around for me. Aurora was having the time of her life playing in the sand and water, my sister in law, Jen was finding all of her favorite shells on the shore, and my Mother-in-Law, Debbie, was relaxing on the beach observing it all. The beach we found was PERFECT. So grateful. Heart FULL.
It was across the bay from a really popular camping spot called Fiesta Island and it jutted out and had water on 3 of its sides. There was a park and BBQ pits along the shore. The weather was perfect and the water was cool and crisp. We had the perfect seat to watch the kids fly by in the tube. Everyone was having the time of their lives.
Until something unexpected happened…
After some time we noticed Justin and his brother, Carl, working on the engine of the boat. I thought it sucked up the rope again. I said to everyone, “There goes the day again. No more tubing.”
But apparently what happened was the boat was unable to go in reverse. There was something clogging the bucket on the jet drive. It took some time and ingenuity but my husband was able to solve the problem and get the boat up and running again. He has always been good at driving and fixing machinery. Justin saves the day.
During his time on the boat with the kids something caught his attention the same time it did mine. It was a huge yacht that was named “Intention.” I had seen it but not that name inscribed on the back and thought to myself “one day I want to live on an island like this with the ones I love and have a yacht and a plane to get there. Something for the land, the sky and the water.
My husband has his 100 ton license so I like to fantasize about owning an island and him captaining a cruise ship/large yacht to bring our guests to our retreat space on the island. Anyways, at about the same time i was fantasizing, Bella messaged me about her wanting us to own an island together and what it would be like. And then Justin sent me the picture of the yacht and the inscription on the back. I took it as a sign to SET MY INTENTION. It seemed like it wasn’t just my dream, but a reality those closest to me were feeling into at the same moment. That reality felt so palpable. I just KNEW it would happen.
After a while, the boat gang decided to come back to shore and beach the boat so the kids could play on the playground and in the water. Jen took the kids to the playground in the middle of the peninsula and I followed Aurora to the opposite side of the peninsula because she wanted to chase seagulls–her favorite beach pastime. The sun was getting lower in the sky and I felt such a huge sense of gratitude and grace for the way the day turned out. Divine Will was good to us. After some time, my husband found me and Aurora and joined us as we walked on the beach together.
I gathered some seashells and he watched Aurora and walked beside me. We commented on how cute our little girl was and herded her back to the other side of the peninsula. I was immensely grateful.
And then something unexpected again…
The boat was beached. The tide was receding and we discovered we would not be able to leave unless the boat could break free. It had sunk into the wet sand below and was almost impossible to move… on our own. We had the kids and adults help push while Justin pulled the tube rope from behind. They flagged down the rescue patrol and when we thought we were going to be “rescued” they denied us assistance instead saying we needed to wait until high tide came in–which would be 1 in the morning! They left by saying “you have some time to kill.” Thanks and no thanks. Tax dollars at work, ya’ll. So disappointing.
So Carl went walking down the beach to look for help from the water skiers down the way and I decided to gather some people to help us muscle the boat off the beach. I asked one man in a family that was set up behind us the whole day celebrating something and knew ONE extra helper would not be enough.
Then I spotted a large group of young men (probably late high school or early college) who would definitely be able bodied and ready for the challenge .. i hoped. I noticed a few of them playing ball earlier in the day and the group grew in size over time. I approached them and pleaded with them to help us move our stranded boat. I asked them if I could borrow their muscles. They were up to the challenge and one of them even said “this is going to be easy.” And easy it was! So grateful.
With a collective push, the group of young men were able to push the boat back into the deeper water. They were satisfied with gifting us their goodwill and we were grateful and excited that they agreed to help us.
What was SO touching for me was when my 6 year old shouted in elation “They helped us! They helped us! We were stuck and they helped us.” It took me back to a traumatic event that happened to him earlier this year.
He was separated from me and his brothers after school one day and walked home alone crying to himself. The thing that upset him more than the fact he was separated from us was that while he was crying NO ONE stopped to help him. He was alone and scared and no one cared.
I’ve learned from an Integrative Healer that I’ve done work with that when we experience unresolved trauma, we attract similar situations to us so that we have the opportunity to complete and integrate the trauma and have resolution. This was Benjamin’s resolution day! I am so happy for him. ?
It was a beautiful moment for everyone involved because we solved a problem together and were open to help from “outsiders.” I can’t say what impact it has on the young men who helped, but I can speculate it was something they would feel proud of.
Teamwork, Risk Taking, Humanity and Divine Will
Above are the key words I used to describe our Friday the 13th. As i recapped my Friday, I was able to observe all these unexpected events that occurred throughout the day. What is the opposite of unexpected? Expectations. We all had our own personal expectations of how the day would look. However, it seemed like at each point we had to surrender to Divine Will and the greater collective plan. Each disappointment led to something greater. The Universe/God wanted us to end up on the Bay and the Peninsula. Everything was aligning for us to experience the moments we shared in Mission Bay. The feminine principle was alive and well. We needed to RECEIVE.
It just so happens Uranus is in gate 2. We call this archetype the Feminine and Uranus is the planet of…. you guessed it… the UNEXPECTED. It was as if Uranus was initiating us into our feminine principle and asking us to surrender deeper and deeper into the Divine Plan.
I learned to take risks despite my resistance. This included taking risks and following the suggestions of others. Releasing my need to control the plan, releasing my resistance to my expectations not being met. I thought that if I could control the plan then I could avoid disappointment. Disappointment is one of the things woman try to protect themselves from.
Today, I felt disappointment. However, I didn’t shut down because of it like I normally would. ? And i didnt look for who to punish or blame. Instead, I felt disappointed and said yes, not initially but eventually, to different options and possibilities. I stayed open despite it all. And I was gifted something amazing.
I learned that MY plans are far inferior to the Divine Plan. It was a great moment of trust. Trusting my husband to lead and trusting God to take care of me. It was my own resolution day. I have lived evidence and experience that I can trust the masculine principle. I only wanted to trust MY masculine to meet my needs. I was not open to its expression outside of me. I was limited. But today, my mind was changed. ?
My heart was open. And that is a WIN for me. Come to think of it, on our last Archetype Akasha call a woman said that she released her OWN expectations and set the intention for heart and soul expansion. That stuck with me and apparently I unconsciously said YES to that in my own life because the evidence is here. ?
On that Friday the 13th my HEART and SOUL EXPANDED. My trust in the masculine expanded, my trust in humanity expanded (the goodwill of others when a fellow-man is in need), my trust in the power of collective intention and the ability to manifest a win-win-win-win for all involved expanded.
I witnessed the power of the Feminine’s ability to be flexible, adaptable, open & receptive. I saw how when I am not afraid of or clinging to disappointment, I can be surprised with something BETTER than I expected.
Even when things went “wrong,” it was an opportunity to experience a greater emotion. For example, my husband was able to solve the problem with the reverse issue on the boat and in turn got to experience pride and accomplishment as well as cheer and recognition from those he loved. So many examples and not enough time to mention. ?
The last thing I will articulate is my newest embodied truth. If I am wanting to manifest something I desire, it needs to come from and out of a place of deep acceptance and gratitude of the present. It can not be because of my dissatisfaction for the now, it manifests from gratitude EXPANDED ?. If I focus on my dissatisfaction and my need for my present to change then what I manifest will be more of the same dissatisfaction. But when I stay present and rooted in the now and allow for moments of gratitude and grace then I expand out into greater possibilities and experiences to be grateful for. It’s an expansion INTO not a teleportation out of.
I really hope this gives you, the reader, hope. I share my Claps & Recap as a way to honor my 42nd archetype (The Nomad in my Unconscious Jupiter/Culture Sphere). I feel MOST ABUNDANT when I can look back and celebrate where i have come from. From that place of celebration I manifest more to celebrate. It is TRUTH for me. I share my stories with you with no expectation of you in return.
I pray for the expansion of your heart and soul through my words.
Ashley Nichole Pfeffer