THE NATURE OF CO-DEPENDENCY
MORE THAN JUST A *DRUG*
There is little room for growth in co-dependent relationships. When we give our power to someone outside of us we feel as though we need that person to make us feel safe, strong, smart, seen, heard, validated, healed ...
______ (fill in the blank)_______
You can be dependent on:
- ways of doing things
These things give you a foundation to stand on and a false sense of safety.
CO-dependency requires two active participants that both consent to the unhealthy behavior. NO ONE IS THE VICTIM. Co-dependency is a choice both make.
CO-DEPENDENCY AND YOU
Journal out these guiding questions:
- In what area of your life does co-dependency show up for you?
- What purpose is this relationship serving?
- What does it give to you, and the other?
- Is there an area in your life where you feel out of control, weak and ineffective? Are you looking for the white horse and prince to come and save you? Look into the areas in your life when you feel powerless and list them.
- Who do you reach for, lean on, need when you feel powerless?
- Are you constantly saving others?
- Are you trying to be the hero on the white horse? Why? What purpose does it serve? What does being the hero give to you?
Observe your daily patterns. Most of our co-dependencies are subconscious and we do them on autopilot. Illuminate these codependencies by bringing your awareness to the pattern. Identify some of your addictive tendencies.
Notice the root behind the reaction. When you're triggered, you go into your addictive patterns to avoid, numb, hide from, escape from, reject or punish ourselves. Identify your root(s) here. Are you noticing any recurring patterns? What is the PURPOSE of the addiction?
Finding Independence comes before Interdependence
Formulate ways in which you can empower yourself to break these co-dependencies. What can you do to break the cycle? How can you find and claim your independence again? How will this be better in the long run?
It wont stop overnight, keep stopping the biofeedback loop before it starts and give yourself grace when you follow the same pattern. FORGIVE.