Ego Death vs Soul Purification
Invite you to read the whole text even if it’s long.
This week Gene Keys 46, 2, and 57 interwoven. I’m contemplating these three Hexagrams in central Spheres of my Hologenetic Profile, and I am becoming aware of the way they are mystically braided together.
💜 SIDDHI: Ecstasy (46) is Unity (2) through Clarity (57)
❤️ GIFT: Delight (46) is Orientation (2) through Intuition (57)
🖤 SHADOW: Seriousness (46) is Dislocation (2) through Unease (57)
If you are new to this geometry, it comes from the I-Ching Hexagram structure where:
Hexagram 2 is made up of two trigrams of Earth
Hexagram 57 is made up of two trigrams of Wind
Hexagram 46 is Earth over Wind
✅ Gene Key 46.3 is my EQ
✅ Gene Key 2.4 is my Life’s Work
✅ Gene Key 57.4 is my Core/Vocation & 57.2 my Conscious Saturn
✅ I also have Gene Key 25.6 – the Programming Partner of 46 – in my IQ
🗝 In the Shadow frequencies, these activations are all about trying to escape the body and the human predicament in order to not have to feel (emotional pain/pleasure).
🗝 The easiest way of doing this is to stop breathing freely into our body and energy centers. When breathing is shallow, the body feels constricted and the Unease and Anxiety of Gene Keys 25 and 57 automatically get their grip around us. We lose the flow of Gene Key 2 and get stuck in the Seriousness and Frigidity of Gene Key 46.
🗝 Before my Saturn Return at age 28-29, I had been in that state for long periods. A lot of it was fueled by a deep and visceral sense of unworthiness that I couldn’t logically understand. With a completely open Ego center, I still have difficulty grasping what it even means to feel worthy.
🗝 I could possibly have numbed myself to continue to live stuck in the shadow frequencies, but there came a moment, just during my Saturn return, when everything became unbearable. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Breaking free and falling through my own constriction and fears was the only way not to kill myself slowly.
🔥❤️🔥💦 This was the beginning of my Soul Purification.
🗝 To backtrack a little, Soul Purification is related to, but very different from Ego Death. Ego Death is when the idea of who you are–your perceived identity–falls apart. At the end of the day, this was just an idea from the beginning so when it falls apart it does hurt the “little I” that was so attached to being this or that, but it doesn’t actually shatter anything of value. The breakdown of your ego attachments takes you closer to who you really are, and who you always have been behind the masks and persona created by the ego for the sake of external validation.
🗝 Soul Purification, on the other hand, is a process that starts deep in the body. It’s a cellular process where your cells start to awaken to a higher frequency of living, and your vessel realizes that this doesn’t match the reality and the relationships that you are currently in.
🗝 Many of us are quite numb to the messages of our own cells and body. Even if the body constantly communicates with us, we often require it to scream quite loud through dis-ease, before we start to listen. Sometimes the pain is not even physical, it’s a sense of unease and constriction on a Soul level. This is what I perceived; my soul was dying inside of me and I didn’t even know what was wrong.
🗝 The process of Soul Purification is so strong that you can’t fight it, you can only surrender to it. It doesn’t happen in an instant “poof” like the Ego Death, but slowly inside of our cells. First cracking us down into the underworld and then, as the cracks get bigger, allowing the repressed light deep in our vessel to start breaking through and being released through us. This process takes seven years. That is the time it takes for all our cells to renew and get fully attuned with higher frequency vibration.
🗝 I am not saying that these are seven years of constant existential despair, but I am saying that the process takes time as it is happening deep into the densest part of who we are; the part that is the portal to all the other layers of being, far beyond the physical. On the other side of this process is a life beyond constriction, where the Soul and the personality are working together in one aligned direction.
🗝 The Soul purification process takes enormous human courage. People actually try to opt out by even putting themselves in mental wards and under other people’s supervision and medical responsibility, all for the sake of not feeling the soul yearning that is killing everything that is and has been inauthentic. It’s never been easy to look death in the eye. But for those who find the courage, the process is worth it.
🗝 Once I dared to breathe even when it hurt; once I dared to stop doing even when my mind told me to continue; once I dared to face the darkness I had been escaping from for so long; that is when everything started to change. It first looked like a downward spiral, I needed to go down – let go – reset to zero – before anything could shift. What wasn’t true needed to burn and then the phoenix could start rising.
🗝 Even once the Soul is alive and vibrant in us we aren’t “cured” from the Shadow frequencies. It’s not meant to be that way because they are part of the duality we perceive in this reality. For me, they will always come through when I forget to listen to my intuition to authentically breathe life connected to, not dissociated from, the discomfort or pleasure I am feeling.
🗝 Today I feel real and alive. I am not killing myself to be perfect, although my mind often tells me I am not doing enough. I have learned to not let that voice dictate my reality. I hear it and there is no need to act on it.
🗝 Initiated through the Red Road and on the path of Tantra, with the Human Design & Gene Keys as allies, I am allowing life to come to me and live me (my Life’s Work is Gene Key 2–the Receptive). I am the passenger, and I am starting to accept my unfolding destiny without obsessively trying to control every outcome.
🗝 I want to FEEL more not less – both the pain and the pleasure. I want to be more human and not less soft and vulnerable.
🗝 On a daily basis I experience the Gift frequencies of Acceptance (25), Delight (46), Intuition (57) Orientation (2), and Guidance (7). The more I play with these frequencies, the more I tune into Clarity (57), Ecstasy (46), Unity (2), and Universal Love (25).
🗝 This is the magic of the Gene Keys transmission and bravely allowing our Shadows to transmute us into role models of the Gift Frequencies. In this process we also start recognizing and remembering our essence through naturally emanating the perfume of the Siddis.