Being in a relationship that just “isnt working.” (I wrote this in response to a woman saying she had no support from her husband and that he basically didnt raise her kid like she wants him to — I needed to hear this and maybe you do too)

Expectations are the thief of joy.
Both of you could improve your partnership if you spoke honestly and openly with each other about these expectations. And then LET THEM GO. let each person have the freedom the be themselves without feeling the pressure of the other. And then maybe when someone asks for help it will be heard and it will feel like teamwork. Your partner most likely feels emasculated by you and you feel bitter and unsupported. The truth is, you’re comparing your partner to the perfect person. And by person I mean WOMAN. We each have our own idea about what we think our best selves looks and acts like. So we place this expectation on our partners because we also have deep shame and guilt for never measuring up. It takes a lot to just LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE IN THE MOMENT. Regardless of this expectation. When we can detach from the expectations WE create then we can be free and EVERYTHING shifts. This may not be what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear. And YOU are the only one who can change your circumstance.

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