I used to be SO up in my head (5/1 here!). And dropping down into my body was super difficult and sometimes scary for me.
PAUSING was something that made me extremely uncomfortable. I would always fill the gap/silence with words.
I thought WORDS were important.
I thought my voice was what was powerful.
But I have learned just recently that it has NOTHING to do about the words and everything to do with the power behind the words. This power is generated inside our body, and it is our COME FROM (as Simone Gers puts it).
In the past (and sometimes now when i am not being present and mindful), I would allow the energy to come into my open head and ajna and IMMEDIATELY bring it to my throat to express. The problem was I may have been speaking truth and using channeling for impact, but I was NOT using my POWER.
Power is embodied. Power comes from the body. And it comes from a place of embodied wisdom.
I was a floating head like you see in the Haunting Mansion in Disneyland. Yes, it was fun and exciting to bring through information and share my borrowed knowledge. But it was just that–borrowed.
Wisdom comes from inside you. It comes only after a process of retreat and distillation. You transform that knowledge (heady) and add to it your own lived experience with it. It becomes wisdom (body) when it has anchored into your body and heart. When it “drops in.”
I’m not talking about the download “dropping in.” I’m speaking about what happens when we allow the knowledge to drop INTO our body and heart.
In my opinion, a lived experience is so much more powerful than spouting out truth generated from the mind. Even truth that comes from the higher mind.
If we do not receive that wisdom, bring it into the body, sit with it, walk with it and embody it, then we are just a messenger. We take no responsibility or ownership of what we are bringing through. And so how can we be held accountable for what we are sharing with others? There can be no judgement, no attack, no disagreement. And so we make a bubble of false security for ourselves.
Wisdom comes from a place of ownership and discernment of what you are speaking/sharing with the world. Wisdom is personal. Wisdom takes time. Wisdom is lived.
So while others may receive great value from you being the mouthpiece of the Divine or sharing studied knowledge, YOU will not evolve from this.
In refusing to pause to drop the info IN and down INTO the body, you are actually PAUSING your evolution and expansion.
I used to think if i heard something in the right way at the right time (super mental), it would drop into my heart. Like my mind was in charge of a special key code to get into my heart. But what I am realizing now is that my head has been trying to protect me from emBODYment. There was something unsafe about holding the info in my body and receiving it through the heart. I always left out the body. The belief attached to that was: “If the source was inside of me and someone didn’t accept that info, they weren’t accepting me.”
I remember the first time I consciously grounded and dropped into my body, I cried. I had an irrational fear about being in my body.
Why was this?
I didn’t know at the time. I thought maybe a childhood trauma I forgot or a past life experience?
As I honed my spiritual gifts, I would LEAVE my body to connect into or plug into someone or something else outside of me to receive that knowledge. I never accessed it from WITHIN.
I didn’t know I was doing this until one of my mentors pointed it out to me. She asked me to receive her from INSIDE my body and not to enter her field to retrieve the information. This was new for me…. AND SO HARD.
After meeting Bella Krystal, I really started to connect to my body and live the truth that “the body doesn’t lie.” The concept of embodiment was introduced to me through Bella and Timothy Brainard. And the 64 Archetypes were my playground and training ground. The ONE archetype I COULD NOT take in or embody was the 59th archetype.
The gate of intimacy (Human Design) & The Playmate Archetype (64 doors):
dishonesty – intimacy – transparency
My 6th Gene Key in my Life’s Work was like fort knocks. 6.5 has been very MENTAL for me. I created a lot of walls together with this shadow of conflict. And wouldn’t you know, It happens to be the harmonic gate to the 59. Even now, trying to access this next wisdom is hard for me because I haven’t gotten past this challenge.
Why was it so frightening for me to be intimate? Why was sacred union impossible to imagine?
Why was intimacy, transparency or being seen completely a threat?
I could make assumptions with my mind, but I know the answers are in my body.
What does my body say?
It says, “intimacy is not safe.”
I could lose myself in the other. I am just now beginning to KNOW myself, and if I were to be intimate with another, maybe they would want me to be someone I am learning I am not (5th line projection field).
Would I abandon myself again for another like I did for my partner and my kids?
Would I live a life of shoulds?
You should get married, you should have kids, you should go to college, should should should…
I KNOW THIS… I need time and space. I, myself, do not know my heart completely. I closed it off as a kid to protect myself from the harsh judgements of those around me. I learned to be who I needed to be to be accepted and get the approval or “good grade.”
I became VERY good at becoming who others needed me to be.
I wasn’t a martyr. I didn’t become this self-sacrificing person who nurtured and mothered others (that was my mom and maternal figures.) Actually, I was who I needed to be to be ACCEPTED. I was SELFISH. And that acceptance from others made me feel POWERFUL.
Recognition made me feel POWERFUL.
I was really good at reading others to know what white horse they wanted to show up to save them. I become the savior or some. The lover for others. The wing woman for few. And the leader for most. Those costumes are not me.
WHO AM I WITHOUT THE RECOGNITION AND ACCEPTANCE?
Am I still powerful?
The thing is, my heart is wild and courageous and free spirited. But I let my mind drive the car because it is what was most easily accepted by others. I am SO good at being in my head. I am SO good at knowing what I need to say or do to gain approval from someone else. And I ALSO know what others want me to say for them to feel good about themselves.
But this is not the TRUTH.
Admittedly, I don’t know who to be when I am not doing something to be accepted or recognized. This is my unique challenge. Tapping into my naturalness. Exiting the stipulations of my mind to enter into the wilderness of the heart. A place where I am FREE TO BE.
You HAVE to be adaptable there. You have to be resourceful there. Otherwise, you could get eaten alive in the storm. My mind ALWAYS senses a conflict and is choosing to bear the weight or walk on eggshells to not contribute to the storm generated inside someone else. Or to be the one to stop the external storm for them so their internal storm could quiet. And guess what, it didn’t solve anything because that internal storm was still there. Watching and waiting for the next opportunity to be heard and felt.
And this PISSES ME OFF.
But I do it. I don’t know of any other way (I am now open to the new way). If I show up in my Naturalness or Wildwoman, it ticks people off who are riding an emotional wave. They have expectations of me to be the peacemaker and orchestrate, manage and organize the chaos. (Or is that my expectations of myself!?)
The Wildwoman and Natural in me are so content in their true nature. And yes, it can be extreme, and yes, sometimes I can come off as selfish, but that’s because I am doing what I love and loving what I do, and that sometimes does not include others.
I care about my family, my friends, my fellow human BEing, but I also care deeply about myself.
Just because a storm shows up, doesn’t mean I need to change who I am. I get to be ME. I don’t need to be the one to save others from their own internal storm. I get to model what it means to stay true to my individual nature. I get to be unshakable. And I get to throw the lifesaver and not BE the lifesaver.
There is so much growth that comes from saving ourselves (sometimes from ourselves). As I write this, I am hearing it. I am doing it. Some of what I wrote was for you, and all of what I wrote was for me.
Some of these things I am hearing for the first time as it comes through me. Through a place of lived experience and through the voice of my heart. I hear it. I hear you, soul. I hear you, heart. I take note, and I choose to live a life true to my nature.
I choose my body. I choose my soul. I choose to be a soul embodied.
THAT FEELS POWERFUL.
I woke up to the question inside me: “Who am I?”
I’ve found her. I am becoming intimate with her. And I am letting her come out and play.
I will master myself through knowing myself. And share my mastery with the world.
This is what I have to contribute, and I know this is ENOUGH.
If you have read this far, I feel something inside of you knows this challenge intimately. It’s time to know the other side intimately. It is time to know soul emBODYment. Anything is possible when we choose to be fully expressed. Anything is possible when we decide to own the wisdom of our body and share it with the world. Anything is possible when we move past the confines of what is possible and access the limitless nature of the heart.
Sending you so much love from the power and wisdom of my own heart,
Are you ready to access your SOUL WORK and do Business by Design (BBD)? Will you join us on our 13 month adventures in your aligned and powerful business?
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KNOW yourself. MASTER yourself. SHARE your mastery with the world.
Bella, Simone and I want to be your guides on this journey. Will you trust us? Will you open up to the possibility of being fully expressed in the world? Will you be open to the possibility of quantum prosperity? Will you choose YOU?
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